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Writer's picturethevagabondkaur

Why people stay the course even when they aren't happy?

Updated: Nov 27, 2022

A couple of months into my sabbatical, there were a few times when I missed being employed.


Sometimes I missed work, a routine and paycheck (ofcourse).


But as soon as I reflected back, I knew I was making the right call for myself.


I knew folks who were going through similar phase of their life but didn’t change course.


They may not be the happiest version of themselves, but it was helping them survive.


For a lot of folks, it is a financial choice because they have responsibilities which is understandable.


But for many, they are staying course because they fear appearing weak.


And it’s the same old sentence ”lets just get through this and then…”


Now that I see, the 29 yr old me and 30 yr old me as two very different people. It breaks my heart that people are choosing to be scared and stable, than be fearless and free.



Choosing yourself, your health, your mental peace isn’t weak and is not at all easy.


It's sad that we look down on people who choose to walk away from a toxic relationship for their own sake instead of sticking around because it won’t ruffle any feathers.


“I am not happy” is looked at as a privileged statement. And may be it is. But it is also true that definition of survival and privilege is different for different people across generations.


Our parents couldn’t leave town because education didn’t always equate to employment. Basic survival was tough, so you relied heavily on support from friends and family. Moving to another country wasn’t something anyone could dream of easily.


So even if you weren’t happy, you were expected to just suck it up, keep your head down and keep going.


But if you know in your heart that you don’t necessarily have to stay course for survival and you somehow are chosing to stay for possibility of a better future.


Or may be its just been too long.


Try to see, is it a real possibility or just an illusion of a low hanging fruit that keeps you tied as you stretch your hand cm by cm.


An the oasis in desert that keeps you running around and not step on the highway that might actually take you to a new beginning.




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