I met a senior actuary recently and she asked me, so what "really" drove you to take a career break?
I said it was a build-up of a lot of things but the nail on the coffin was COVID.
COVID showed me (us), what could be worse than this?
What could be worse than,
Fearing for your loved one's life, sitting thousands of miles away with no way of reaching them? Getting panicked with a slight cough or body ache? Not seeing anyone for days?
What could be worse than death itself?
It changed me completely. Whatever I thought life was supposed to be, no longer made sense.
Making compromises for years, for life we are told we should want. Tolerating things just because we think we have to.
When I came back home, I squashed my criteria for everything. I accepted I don't have it right.
I met people from everywhere. I went everywhere from cities to mountains.
I accepted I was not healthy and changed my approach towards health. I finally made peace with food and started seeing it as fuel for the soul, not just the body.
I opened my mind to work that is no longer confined to my degree and a large corporation.
I accepted I don't know anything, and also that no one really does.
I realized that everyone is confused. The people in power, with the technology in our hands likely want us to be overwhelmed with information and thus confused.
Most importantly, I learned that the solution to most problems is taking deep breaths and choosing what thoughts enter our mind like we choose clothes at a very expensive clothing store.
We can afford to carry only a few with us.
Now that I can see and want new chapter(s) starting in my life, from saying yes to things that don't necessarily fit into an equation of perfect parameters.
I ask myself repeatedly, what's the worst that can happen?
Comments