Taking a break at 29, contemplating a career change, and choosing not to "settle", isn't an easy place to be in. Especially in India (or IMO amongst NRIs in America) where being single (man or woman) beyond 30 feels similar to committing a crime.
It was even harder when I was at my lowest point a little while ago and it was evident that I wasn't doing 100% okay. I often felt pressured to go for, what Indian people think is the solution to all problems, marriage! (all I needed was a break)
While people who understood me, never questioned my beliefs. I found myself in situations where I was cornered and ridiculed by people for not wanting - what they perceived to be - a normal life.
Cut to now, where I continue to grow to a stronger self.
I have a clearer vision of how I want my life to be and I am aware that it will still not win popular opinion.
And that's okay.
I do get bouts of feeling insecure and anxious every now and then.
Today was one of those days.
As soon as I got up, my first thought was 'Am I making a mistake?'
I shared my anxieties with my mom this morning over breakfast.
She said, if you want to be special, you need to dare. If you want to be different from the rest of us, don't listen to the rest of us. You want a life that most don't understand.
She further added (by giving an example that only a mother can) that, most of us have a hard time avoiding sugar. We give in with the slightest budge. But you stopped eating sugar at 16 for no other reason except that it's not good for one's health.
You have trouble with adding even a grain of refined sugar to your food. Not many people can connect with this extreme self-discipline. But those who do, might be fewer in number, agree with you.
So, why are you bothered by what people think? We know nothing of the life you want.
You didn't care then, don't care now.
PS - I am a huge chocoholic, but avoiding sugar at most times, allows me to indulge when I want to :)
Also, I liked that mom included herself in "we". She acknowledged that it can be hard for her to understand my viewpoint and she may not always agree with it but that does not mean she would try to pressurize me into changing it.
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