Travel not just introduces you to new places with its diverse terrains, art, culture and people. It also introduces you to fellow travellers — folks who are just like you, foreigners to the land.
Meeting people was one of my personal reasons to travel throughout India. I moved to the States only a few months out of college. So when I returned after 8 years, I didn’t know a lot of folks. Travelling was going to be my way of getting to know the contemporary Indian millennial. What are their challenges? How is it like working here? What’s their mindset? Do they like living here? How much has our parents’ generation changed with times? And does bias and judgement still run through our veins? (:p yep I went there)
The short time I have travelled in India, I have been extremely lucky to have met a lot of good people. Mostly in the age of 25–35.
Over time, I noticed a pattern in the type of conversations I had. For them, I was a US return on sabbatical — a weird creature in Indian terms. When you add unhitched at 29, its recipe of a headache for any Asian parent. So obviously people were curious about my story. But more than that, I was curious about theirs and how they perceived their lives and careers.
I have to say, it has been heart-warming, enlightening and concerning all at the same time. I have ranked my conversations and my subsequent revelations. From most to least awkward or let’s say, from sober to a few drinks later. By the end, you’ll know how I found myself in this interesting set of emotions.
1. So, you resigned, that’s amazing! — A common reaction. Often followed by, I could never do that or afford to do that. Almost every time, people were extremely encouraging. At the same time, expressed concern since career break is not perceived good by employers in India.
To their surprise, west itself is just catching up with the idea of a sabbatical. Leaving America with no sure path of moving back, was not popular amongst most folks. Even though it was an expected reaction, I tried to reason. After a few attempts, I figured I would never win this debate. Afterall, the arguments I heard were the same one’s that drove me out of this country.
2. Career — Career gladly is an important aspect of most people’s lives. Although people here do have a corresponding priority. For women, it was marriage. Except a few instances, it seemed like their careers were meant to change course once they got married. Something inevitable that would shape the course of their life. With men, a few that opened up, their decisions were anchored around taking care of their parents. In both cases, except a few, they looked at it less as a problem, and more as a given. As we colloquially say, “jo hai so hai” (“It is what it is”).
Now, the America that I lived in, was mostly urban blue collar area, but rarely have I seen anyone in their early career worried about compromising one priority for another. In India, women are contemplating these factors before they have even entered the professional playing field. The system isn’t perfect of course. Sexism is very deeply interwoven in the fabric of our society. A lot of women especially after maternity, either by choice or circumstance, do end up having to make career changes to support their family.
Nevertheless, it was enlightening to find people excited about what they do. People are aware of the opportunities at hand and are ready to take chances.
3. Work Culture — I feel I need to write a whole post on American work culture, given the number of times I found myself giving monologues on describing it and how it has shaped me.
Almost uniformly, the feedback I received was, that Indian work culture, not to mince words, simply sucks. The hours, the politics, lack of work life balance etc. It was concerning. It also made me appreciate that I spent my formative years in American corporate culture. It taught me ethics, discipline, empathy, healthy work environment, fearlessness, honesty, striving for excellence, productivity and much more.
Coincidently, most of the folks I met were consultants who worked for a US employer or client, so the comparison was inevitable.
4. Travelling in India –Almost everyone I met, I saw, I know, loves to travel. If there aren’t travelling already, they are planning their next getaway. And everyone blogs at least on Instagram. The cool part was, even though travelling in India isn’t as seamless as it is in the west. People are figuring out ways to go around things. The road conditions are a concern. Safety (esp. Women) is still a major concern.
Solo travellers are a small but growing community. My most interesting conversations were with people I met in hostels, home to independent travellers on budget. Often, I found myself just listening quietly to travel stories and taking down notes.
Most folks preferred a travel company that arranges everything for them. And that’s how I have mostly travelled as well. It’s safe, affordable and convenient. But very dependent. Even though, things have or are changing regarding safety. I believe, culturally, people here are used to trading their independence with convenience. The sad part is, you find more tourists than travellers wherever you go. Hopefully, more and more people would travel for reasons beyond trending on Instagram.
Whether people are travelling solo or through a travel company, the excitement around travel is heart-warming.
At Zostel Plus, Lonavala
5. Generation Gap — Some things just never go away. Generation gap is one of them. The number of 30-year-olds I met, who still lie to their parents about drinking alcohol was shocking . I often asked, “Do you really think your parents are that naïve? I almost wondered parents want their kids to lie to them, keeping them in their guilt trap forever. Pretty much what our government does by making nonsense laws. The conversation did make people uncomfortable. All said, “jo hai so hai” (it is what it is).
Another caveat here is, this was my first foray into India outside Punjab. So, the cultural shock was bit of a double whammy. Punjabi parents, may not be as keen on education, as those in southern India. But when it comes to life choices, they are considered fairly open minded.
My guess, in this confusing relationship between parents and children, is this. Parents usually disapprove of a lot of things when kids are in college. Most uncomfortable topics are shoved under the carpet. Before you know it, you are 30 and you are lying through your teeth. And parents are continuing to avoid any possible confrontation. Or maybe, both sides are happy to bridge the gap but there is an overwhelming amount of awkwardness and buried anger built over time.
I still found multiple instances, where people said, they can’t go somewhere or do something. Even if it wasn’t anything extreme, so it was a bit disturbing to hear it out loud.
On the other hand, I also witnessed a very touching reality. Parents are trying very hard to be up to date with the times. Especially, if they are a parent of a woman. I see more and more instances of parents, asking their daughters to focus on being self-reliant. And if their in-laws are not supportive or worse, are abusive, they stand strong by their daughter’s side. Daughters are not afraid to separate and lead independent lives. Thereby enabling them to not just be another damsel in distress.
So, as I said, heart-warming, enlightening and concerning all at the same time.
In merely a couple of months, just by talking to people, I have learnt to travel with an open mind and a humble heart. And I can’t wait to meet more interesting folks on my travel journey!
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