I am an extremely proud Indian. However, the excitement of celebrating this independence day at home after eight years wasn’t where I expected it to be. Did I not feel 100% Indian?
Like any Indian, growing up, I was always filled with utmost pride for my country. Whether it is our history showing our perseverance through trying times, our deep understanding of spirituality, or our food. But above all, it was our diversity that had always left me in deep awe. Over the years, while I would read about the lack of tolerance in privileged developed communities, we as a nation, with our magnitude of population and heterogeneity in faith, had somehow figured out a way to keep moving forward.
I was curious to learn, how were we able to do it. Given the deeply rooted casteism that has plagued our country and elements of fascism that never truly disappeared, how did we hack it?
Before I could get out of Punjab and get an answer to these questions, I moved to America.
Almost eight years later, when I came back I was left a bit confused about my feelings.
Initially, I thought, it was because of the growing intolerance which makes it harder to celebrate what we as a nation have turned into.
But then, travel helped me see that the idea of "India" I grew up with, but never experienced, still existed. Listening to "Azaan" from a nearby Masjid or ringing bells from a nearby Church in the background while visiting a Gurudwara Sahib or a Hindu temple made me swell with pride.
I am a Punjabi-Sikhni who never lived anywhere in India except Punjab and speaks broken Hindi. But after spending a year in Bangalore, I am also a bit of a Bangalorean who loves her filter coffee, tolerates the traffic, and can't stop talking about the beautiful weather.
So, what was it?
Maybe this independence day made me question the idea of home.
After all, I spent almost all my 20s in America. I do think, feel, and act a lot like an American. I feel a deep connection with that country.
I still call myself a New Yorker, but I am equally, if not more, a New Englander (#gopats!).
Interestingly, it was America, not India, that taught me to appreciate diversity. It brought me closer to people from all over the world. People who now feel like family.
So what has my journey so far, through academics, work, and sabbatical, shown me?
It has shown me that we are always way more biased and ill-informed than we think we are.
It has shown me that it is possible to care for another community, country, and religion just as deeply as yours. Disliking someone who isn't like you, is never okay. Just because disliking a certain gender, religion or caste is considered normal by an alarmingly growing number of bigots across the globe, it still does not make it okay.
It is only through living away from home and traveling that I had a chance to appreciate that, we have a lot to unlearn. And learning and unlearning will be a lifelong process.
Now that I have experienced the fruits of living in diverse cultures, I may never be able to stop exploring. I may never feel at home.
And that is okay.
So belated Happy Independence Day my fellow citizens! This country fought long and hard for its freedom. Freedom to think, speak, write, and dream. Freedom to live without fear. If there is one thing that we should try to ensure continues to be every citizen's birth right is this freedom!
Comments